Hi all,
What does a house church meeting look like? How to start?
Elements of house church
We see a pattern in Acts 2: 42: “They were steadfastly in the apostles teaching, fellowship, breaking bread, and prayer.” There is no other pattern given than that. Paul later shares about the flow of a meeting (below), but of structure, we find no instruction nor pattern to follow other than these 4 elements tied together by a stead fast determination to grow in Christ.
The word ‘steadfastly’ is the Greek word ‘proskartereo’. ‘Pros’ means ‘towards together with’, ‘kartereo’ means ‘to show steadfast strength’. They were committed to growing in the Lord with others. We find no disciples in the NT all by themselves, no church that was all by itself.
We encourage all the house churches affiliated with us – stay connected to the local body of Christ, and stay connected with those in the network. We see this throughout Acts and Paul’s letters – people traveling back and forth between the churches. Today it can also be by Internet, conferences, and travel between churches.
In the NT we see 3 groups of people. The first is like the leaders of Ephesus seen in Acts 20:17, whose hearts are just for their local body. We have no record of any of them traveling to any other church. This is by far the largest group of people involved in house church.
The second group are those who make short trips to other churches and then back home. The starts and ends of Paul’s letters mention some of them. And the 3rd group and more rare in our day, is the one who travels constantly to different nations and churches strengthening the brethren. I only know of 1 or 2 people like that. So if you have no interest in traveling to others, that’s fine.
They worked through difficulties with one another
A pattern we’ve seen is that for the first 3 months everyone has on their ‘church face’. In the 3 to 6 month time the church faces fade and people start opening up to the reality of life – you start to hear the stresses and hardships. And if there are issues with children behaving, that will be seen right away as all are guests in someone’s home.
IF a person or family will stay with it through 6 months of meetings, true friendships form. People realize house church is safe, everyone ‘has your back’, that every person and every family has issues in one form or another. There is no threat, people start to relax.
More than that, they start to change. Often the changes are subtle but significant. Family dynamics start to change for the better. People/families are changed from the inside out.
House church doesn’t affirm one’s faith by stained glass and a set structure with a set speaker each week. House church affirms one’s faith through the surrounding people. By the mutual sharing week by week what the Lord is doing in you, what struggles are being faced, what answered prayers and victories have been answered and won.
It is in the 6-12 month time frame a house church starts to become a family. Six months to a year to only then start to realize the dynamics of a healthy and balanced house church relationships.
House church is messy. House church in comparison to the laser lights, smoke and ear-blasting musical production called ‘worship’, is boring. It’s boring because it is normal life in that we walk through with others. We support one another. You won’t have your ears tickled. You’ll hear revelations others have received from the Lord. Things He taught them, and you can share what He is teaching you. All are edified. But it is so subtle if you are looking for fleshly impulses, you will be disappointed.
I Corinthians 14: 26-40: Decently and in order
When we combine the steadfast commitment for the purpose of growing in the Lord with Paul’s instructions of politeness and ‘decently and in order’, we see a relaxed gathering in someone’s home that is safe, focused on growing in Christ, and full of peace.
In I Corinthians 14: 26-40, he recognizes a situation very similar to many house churches in our day as well. In their time Acts 18: 1-9 tells us 3 cultures were meeting in the home of a Roman man named Justus. Jews, Greeks, and Romans would not normally meet together socially. Many of those attending don’t know others. They are strangers at the start.
Certainly Jews would not enter the home of a Gentile, let alone have a meal with them. Greek and Romans wouldn’t normally meet together. But now these 3 cultures are meeting and eating together bound by their walk with the Lord. From I Corinthians 11: 17-31 we see some did not want to eat with the others, their prejudice opening themselves up to sickness.
So when Paul writes in I Corinthians 14: 26-40 about things done ‘decently and in order’, he includes instructions on how to be a guest in someone’s home where all you have in common with others is Jesus. His instructions include if you have a word from the Lord but no opportunity to share it, keep it to yourself.
If you have a word or something you want to say, but the person next to you also wants to share, defer to them and let them share. Take turns. Don’t monopolize the conversation. Don’t push your own favorite teaching. Anything you say may be rejected. If the discussion rises to the level of confusion, let questions and further discussion done in your own home. (Wives ask their husbands at home because for the first time in their lives they are sitting together – so ask at home if the questions are too disruptive.)
Modern updates would include things like; If a door is closed, don’t open it, the host has it closed for a reason. Don’t peek into someone’s medicine cabinet in the bathroom. Help clean up whether the meeting included a meal or not. Don’t overstay the purpose and time for a meeting, and so on.
The host/hostess has the final word
What we have found that works, is that no matter who leads a meeting, the host or hostess determines the time allotted for the meeting.
For instance, if a meeting starts at 10am and a host allow people to stay all afternoon, or even into the evening, soon they will become exhausted and ‘burned out’. Balance and politeness are key. Most people won’t overstay their welcome, but a host or hostess should not be afraid to let such a one know they need move on to other things for the day.
Very often someone leading a house church has never led a group of anyone before. They aren’t used to calling a meeting to order and hesitate interrupting conversations. I’ve been in house churches where the starting time was 10am, but at 11am people are still talking and eating, the host or hostess not wanting to interrupt. It’s a learned skill to get everyone’s attention to tell them what they have in mind for the meeting, but necessary.
Teaching, fellowship, food, prayer. Usually a meeting will include those elements as seen in Acts 2: 42. Sometimes there is no food other than water or coffee. Sometimes the only prayer might be before eating food. Sometime ‘teaching’ takes the form of 1 person sharing what the Lord taught them that week, and then a 90 minute discussion and study happens – Acts 2: 42 is just an outline for elements of their meetings.
There is so much more to share, which is why we have audio series such as ‘House Church 101’ on our site, 10 question and answer videos about house church, Return of the First Church, and more.
House church is that gathering of friends, family, neighbors and coworkers seen through the pages of the New Testament. It isn’t for everyone and we celebrate however the saints choose to gather. But for some, looking for people on the same spiritual page in genuine relationships in Christ, house church is for them. Perhaps that includes some reading this series. Do your homework, but allow revelation from the Lord change you from the inside out. Be moved from that revelation in your heart towards a relationship based faith rather than an auditorium based faith.
Food for thought, new subject next week.
Until then, blessings,
John Fenn
