Hi all,
I’m led to share something very personal in this space, something I wouldn’t normally do, but feel prompted, so I hope it is a blessing to you. Up until now I hadn’t shared it with anyone but Barb (my wife).
What the Father showed me about Chris in heaven
As most of you know, our oldest son (Chris) had brain damage at birth, and is mentally in the 4-5 year old range, and in a wheelchair. That said, he is very talkative, funny, never met a stranger, a lover of dogs and trains, planes, and automobiles. He will be 43 in December.
Our normal schedule when not traveling is that I pick him up at his group home Friday morning at 8:15, then return him Saturday afternoon. He is usually sitting on the edge of his bed at the group home, waiting for me Friday mornings, then I bathe and shave him and get him ready for the day. Sometimes we drive to a physical therapy appointment, and then to various errands we saved during the week to do with him, which keeps us busy until about 4pm (16:00) when we go home.
Barb has a nice meal ready for him, he can sleep in his own bed and play with his favorite cars and watch on TV what he wants, and things like that. Being in a group home, Fridays with dad are the only days he can choose where he goes, what he eats, what he does, and I give him that freedom of choice. Saturday mornings are the 1 day he can sleep in, play with his cars and planes he keeps in a big bucket next to his bed, and get up when he wants to. He has a walk in tub, and an assortment of cars and planes he can play with at his leisure – baths often take 60-90 minutes – at the group home it is a shower in a shower chair. At the group home he is up when they say, to bed when they say, shower when they say, and so on.
He also relishes picking out where we will eat lunch on Fridays. He often says ‘I don’t know’ when I ask what he wants for lunch, so I’ll give him a choice of restaurants in the area with foods I know he likes: “Corn dogs, chicken strips with gravy, pizza, burritos, cheeseburgers, spaghetti…” and he will often respond with something like: “Hmmmm, chicken and gravy I think.” (He loves gravy, to him it is Vitamin G I think, essential to his diet. lol)
Because of the physical demands of him being a 180 pound man in a wheelchair, I am the one to care for him when he is home. Toilet, bathing, transitioning in and out of a chair and wheelchair and bed, and so on. When I return him to the care of others Saturday afternoon, I drive away needing a time to myself to decompress. I may take over an hour to drive the what is normal 30 minutes home, and then once home just need to reflect a bit.
It was the hardest decision Barb and I ever made, to place him in a group home after his first 24 years at home. Returning him weekly to a staff that offers good care, but could never care for him like we do, is a continual weight upon us.
And since we coordinate his care as his parents and legal guardians, there is always contact during the week with the group home as well, no matter where we are in the world…and yet Chris has the best attitude and is a testimony and inspiration to us.
All of that to say this:
A few Fridays ago Chris and I were driving along and he was talking about something or other on his 4 year old level as Psalty the singing songbook or the Donut man was playing on the car from my ‘kids worship’ playlist.
As we drove along and he talked on, I was internally telling the Father how I longed to know my son as an adult, after all he is 42 years old – to talk about adult things, to have a normal relationship with him as I do our other 2 sons. I wasn’t melancholy nor was I complaining, just a moment of reflection and pouring my heart out to my Father about a longing to know Chris as a normal adult.
Suddenly as I was driving there appeared as an overlay to my natural eyes, a vision of a future moment in heaven. I was standing on the left side of Chris who was seated. He has his mom’s thick brunette hair, though a side effect of one of his medicines is hair loss, so he is thin on top and it isn’t as thick overall as it used to be.
But in heaven this was even more full than what he originally had on earth. His shoulders were broad and I thought how he got my height but Barb’s side of big boned people. “What a handsome man”, I thought. Seated before him were children and adults, some sitting cross-legged, dozens gathered around his feet, and he was talking to them. Chris was full grown and normal, talking in normal speech though I couldn’t hear what he was saying
I asked the Father what I was seeing and He said this: “This is Chris in heaven talking to people about what it was like to have been disabled, to have been confined to an infirmed body and mind, teaching them what it was like, and my faithfulness He found in that time.”
“Who would be interested in that?” I asked, feeling embarrassed as soon as the thought left my mind. He responded: “Anyone! But especially those who on the earth had a difficult time (being around or liking) the disabled or infirmed, for then such people will learn from many formerly disabled or infirmed. For some, I allowed them in their lives that they might grow out of that which was comfortable, but many never do. So in heaven they will learn from people like Chris, since they didn’t learn during their life.”
He continued: “And also those who had a heart for the disabled and infirmed, and served them during their life. Whether for a lifetime or short term. Relatives and caregivers, and even those who ignored the needs and desires of the disabled or infirmed they knew, will then learn of them. Many questions will be answered especially between care givers and the now formerly infirmed; memories of things that happened in life will for the first time be shared and exchanged between them. And not just for Chris, but for many this kind of thing will happen.”
As I said, this is very personal, but feel His presence as I share this with tears in my eyes. Hope it is a blessing. Need to switch gears….
Reminder: Our conference in the Netherlands is still planned for June 4-6. With the loosening of travel restrictions we hope to see many of our old friends there!
Reminder for US: Our October 7-9 conference in Tulsa is getting closer. See registration details in the headers of my Weekly Thoughts or this e-newsletter.
Our web site is still being worked on to be able to post and sponsor orphans and other needs in the network, especially in Africa. It is a work in progress, but coming…stay tuned…
In this month’s teaching series, Restoring the Sacred, I touch in part how the Internet prevents some from experiencing authentic, genuine, Christian life. The longer I live the more I’m convinced a Christian cannot experience authentic Christianity without a frame work of Christian friends in their lives – real friends, not Facebook/social media friends.
This is the prophetic – the dividing between body and those making themselves fit for the groom:
From the dawn of man, man has considered God (or gods) as being connected to their lives providing rain for the crops, a home that is blessed by God or a god, work to support the family, and so on. When a difficulty came along, man looked to God or the gods for solutions, and to help them get through life.
For Christians, the NT is filled with similar encouragement; Life is difficult, but God is walking with us ‘through the valley of the shadow of death for your rod and staff comfort me’. These things cause us to exercise free will that we may know what we were saved from and saved to – and He works in us through these things the fruit of the Spirit like love, joy, peace, long-suffering, moral excellence, self-control etc. Paul yearned to know both “…the power of His resurrection AND the fellowship of His sufferings.” This is foundational Christian doctrine.
But with the Internet, a person can pick and choose what they experience with no thought to God’s larger plan. And if a person immerses themselves in that fantasy world, they skew their perspective on God, relationships, and life in Christ. They choose what they want to be challenged by, who they communicate with. They don’t have to deal with issues and walk with God through them, they just go ‘click’ and that person or issue is gone.
If a person offends them – not because of moral failure but just because they don’t agree on something – rather than look to the Lord to see how He they can grow in Him and how He would treat that person, thus growing in Christ, they simply unfriend them, or unsubscribe, or drop out of a group. If a teaching is different from what they believe, rather than learn another’s point of view, rather than think through the challenge, they shut them out of their lives.
By doing such things they also shut God out of their lives, hampering His ability to grow them in Christ.
This causes weak people, unable to deal with real life, angry, hurt, and with stunted growth in the Lord. Paul wrote in I Corinthians 11: 17-end that because of some shutting others out of their lives by their offense and hurt, they were ‘weak and sickly and many have died early’, because they despised the body of Christ.
Restoring the sacred involves in part, putting a value on walking with God through the difficulties of life and people, regaining that deep thinking that processes things in Christ. That is the growth in Him that should be our first priority. Yet so many edit challenges, not depending on the Lord – then go to Him when a real crisis happens. Righteousness is both vertical (God) and horizontal (man) – consider that.
For the first time in history a person can choose what challenges they will face (online), which leads to an inability to deal with real life where they can’t edit what issues or people they must face, shorter attention spans, and the loss of ability to think, to comprehend, to be a deep thinker, to be one who can meditate – and it is there, in those deep thinking processes where the Father speaks to us.
The Lord is causing His body, and moving in the midst of those, who value growth both vertical (with God) and horizontal (with people). When God moves a step forward, if we don’t move with Him, we are behind. Often it isn’t open rebellion in a person’s life, it is merely digging in one’s heels and not wanting to grow. Those who do, that is where He is moving, they are the ones seeing Him at work in the miraculous. Surround yourself with those types of people – on that spiritual page.
Hope we are a blessing to you.
We thank you SO much for being part of our lives, contributing to our lives in prayer and donations. We hope to see some of you in the Netherlands in June, and many of you from US/Canada in October in Tulsa! Heaven alone will reveal how much we appreciate you.
Thank you!
John & Barb, Brian & Amy
